A pirate goes into a bar

A pirate goes into a bar and the bartender says:

“Long time since I’ve seen you, man, you look terrible.”

The pirate says: “I feel fine.”

The bartender says: “Well, you didn’t have that wooden leg last time I saw you.”

“Well, I got into a battle and a cannon ball hit me in the leg, but I’m OK.”

“Well, you didn’t have that hook on your arm either.”

The pirate says: “Got in a sword fight and lost my hand.”

The bartender says: “What about the eye patch?”

The pirate replies: “Well, a bunch of sea gulls flew over the boat and when I looked up one of them shit on my eye.”

The bartender says: “How did that make you lose your eye?”

The pirate replies: “It was the first day with the hook.”