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Nurse: “Do you have siblings?” Me: “Yes, a younger brother.” Nurse: “Does he have any medical issues?” Me: “He broke his finger on his right hand...
On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a...
My son’s teacher has been giving him poor marks for grammar. At a parent-teacher conference, she was really lording it over me. “You know, I consulted...
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy. “Magic beer,” he...
A bartender is working one evening, when a panicked man comes charging into his bar. “BIG JAKE’S COMIN’!” he cries. “EVERYBODY RUN! BIG JAKE’S COMIN’!” The...
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.”...
Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every...
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. He says to the other patrons, “Here’s the deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and insert my genitals....
3 sailors get stranded on an island and get captured by a cannibal gang The sailors plead with the king to spare their lives so the...
There was once a man who was looking to create a new idiom. He was having trouble thinking of one, so he decided to look around...