A man dreams that he is a chicken. He walks around the farm and is quite happy pecking on some corn. Suddenly he feels a big...
Nurse: “How old are you?” Patient: “None of your business.” Nurse: “But the doctor must know your age for his records. Please, just tell me, I’m...
Two pigeons are sitting on a roof, watching the world. One of them notices a jet plane roaring high up at the sky. ? He nudges...
A man asks a farmer near a field, As He is in hurry, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going...
A little old lady answered a knock on her door one day to find a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. “Good morning,” said the...
Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some...
A man well into his seventies asks his wife: “Mary, doesn’t it make you sad when you see me running after those young girls sometimes?” “Not...
A guy walks up to a caretaker in a dog shelter: “I’d like to adopt a dog. Do you have one that’s really loyal?” The caretaker...
Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited: “Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to...
An old lady comes in for her medical check-up: “Doctor Ribbit, you remember how you warned me that I should avoid going up and down stairs...
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Taronga Park, Sydney when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion...
A 19-year-old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys...
A woman joins a country club and one day hears the guys talking about their golf round. She says, “I played on my college’s golf team....
A Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. Barman, he says, “A round on...
A man is playing with a stray dog. His wife says, “Don’t play with this ugly and disgusting thing!” The husband defends, “Come on. He isn’t...
A polish man married an American girl, and though his English wasn’t very good. They got along very well. One day he rushes into a lawyer’s...
A woman came home early from work one day and found her husband in bed with a young and attractive woman. The woman yelled at her...
An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman....
A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche, and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?” He calmly told them, “I...
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will...