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George goes to the doctor after getting some very bad news about his condition. Doctor: “Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live.” George: “Doctor,...
A husband exclaims to his wife one day: “Your bum is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the...
A mother and her daughter were at the gynecologist’s office. The mother asked the doctor to examine her daughter. “She has been having some strange symptoms...
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he’s 6 foot 2...
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. he placed the boy...
A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the...
A woman wearing a real tight dress, and carrying a bunch of packages tries to get on a bus. She can’t get up the step so...
A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor came in and said, “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” The bad news is...
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. “What a cute bunch of cows!”...
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site: Paddy says to Murphy. “I’m gonna have the day off,I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!” He climbs up...
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for...
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race come about?” The Mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so...
A man walk into a supermarket and notices a beautiful woman staring at him. She stares for quite some time, so finally the man asked “Do...
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. “How much is that Barbie in the window?”, he asks the shop...
A group of tourists was visiting a crocodile farm and they were in a floating structure in the middle of a crocodile lake. The owner of...
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees. I don’t want to know! the child says, bursting into tears....
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Da-ad…” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No....
A girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is make love?” The father was surprised that she...
Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their...
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life: After...
