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A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what...
A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of...
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It`s for my husband,” she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge...
A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold....
The old Josh was sat in his garden, sunbathing in the deck chair when he noticed his grand-son kneeling on the lawn with a worm. When...
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years....
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or...
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening church service when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the burglar red-handed,...
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer asks her some questions: Officer: What’s 2 + 2? Blonde: Ummm… 4! Officer:...
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom....
An old man ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. He then unwrapped the burger and carefully cut it in half, placing...
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, in front...
A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to do something about my husband he thinks he’s a refrigerator!” “I wouldn’t worry too...
A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she...
At the doctor’s office, Tom was getting a check up. “I have good news and bad news,” says the doctor. “The good news is you have...
An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green,red,orange,blue,and yellow. The...
Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, “You know, I’m getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing...
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. “Henry,” she said, “I’ve just received a letter from mother...
A guy had just returned from two weeks of vacation. He asked his boss for two more weeks off to get married. “What?” shouted the boss,...
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening...
