A psychiatrist met an old patient and exclaimed, “I heard you died.” “But you see I’m alive,” smiled the ex-patient. “Impossible,” said the psychiatrist. “I was...
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?” The man says,...
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on gurneys next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What...
A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and...
A young boy says to his father “Dad, our math teacher is asking to see you.” “What happened?” The father asks. “Well, she asked me, ‘how...
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies,...
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a...
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well,...
The Little Johnny going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him. “What’s wrong?” Nervous, the kid asks, “How long do...
A science teacher asked her students “Children, if you could own one mineral, what would it be?” One boy said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth...