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A old lady was walking her dog around a lake on a cold winter morning and the lake was still frozen. All of a sudden, her...
An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You’re...
Two men were golfing, and the fairway of the hole they were playing was adjacent to a road. The first man was setting up for his...
A man goes to take out a loan. The loan officer comes over immediately. “How can I help you, sir?” he asks. “I’m going out of...
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association....
One day, the phone rang, and a little boy answered. “May I speak to your parents?” “They’re busy.” “Oh. Is anybody else there?” “The police.” “Can...
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but...
The doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day this way: ‘Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of...
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says, hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where...
Johnny and Susie were playing undressed, wondering why they have different “parts” When Johnny got home he asked his mother why he had a stick and...
A bodybuilder takes off his shirt and starts flexing in front of a blonde woman. She exclaims “Wow, what a great chest you have!” He says,...
One day a blind man goes to a restaurant. The server asked him if he’d like to see the menu. The blind man says: “no, I...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two...
A guy who has a bad stutter goes to the doctor, he says “doccttrr I have ttttoo gettt rid ooooff my stttuter ccccan you hhhhelp me?”...
A guy was in an elevator one day and noticed an attractive woman running to make it before the door closed. He held the door for...
Mr. Johnson boarded a plane to New York City. He was about to sit down in the aisle seat he had booked when he saw a...
A man and his son were walking together one day and stumbled across 2 dogs having make love. “Why is that dog hurting the other one?”...
A husband was sitting on the sofa one afternoon when his wife came up behind him and whacked him on the head. The husband asked ‘What...
Husband says to his wife. Husband: If I died would you date another man.? Wife: Of course I would. Husband: Would you let him move in...
A mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he’s driving a car. The nurse asks him, “Charlie, what are...
