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A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat...
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “George, everything looks great. How are you...
Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, “Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing...
A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, “What’s the special of the day?”...
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed...
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?” Only one hand shot up. “Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher. “‘unlawful’...
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a...
There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave. So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?” The salesclerk...
Johnny was at school and the teacher said, “Someone use fascinate in a sentence.” Sally answered, “The zoo was fascinating.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sally, I...
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front...
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled...
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks...
Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. The first bull...
A couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers...
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees wasn’t in and had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one...
Three guys die and go to heaven. The first goes up to St. Peter who says, “I have only one question before you go into heaven:...
Two elderly ladies have been friends for decades. Over the years, they partook in many activities and adventures together. Lately, their activities have been limited to...
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says,...
One night, this guy come into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the...
