A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all...
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled...
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies...
A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, “What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!” Next time...
There were five people aboard an airplane having engine trouble getting ready to crash, however, there were only four parachutes. Everyone wondered what should be done...
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her...
A little boy asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made...
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in make love. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her...
A man calls the hospital. He shouts into the receiver, “You gotta send some help, and fast! My wife’s going into labor!” The nurse says, “Calm...
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the...
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says...
A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, “At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give...
A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and...
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green...
One night, a guy walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Then he asked for another. After a couple more drinks, the...
A rabbit hops into a pub and asks the bartender, “Could I get a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?” The bartender is...
An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did...
A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around...
A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder in the...
A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & bangs all 150 hens. The farmer is...