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A woman went to police station to file a report for her missing husband: Woman: I lost my husband Inspector: What is his height Woman: I...
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows...
Two lawyers met at a cocktail party late one night. “How’s business?” asked the first. “Rotten,” replied the other. “Yesterday, I chased an ambulance for twenty...
Johnny wanted to get his mom a special Christmas gift, but she was notoriously hard to shop for. As he walked past a pet store, he...
A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself,...
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren’t ready yet. Until they are, I...
Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, ‘I think I will divorce...
It was Christmas Eve, and a woman returned home to her husband after a long day of shopping. That night, as she got ready for bed,...
Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, “Could you pleash give ush a bed with...
Two women were playing a round of golf. One of them teed off and watched in shock as her ball flew straight toward a group of...
Late one night, paramedics rushed Mr. Steinberg to the hospital, suspecting a massive heart attack. The medical team worked tirelessly through the night and well into...
A local bar was so sure that its barman was the strongest man in the Village that they offered a standing £1000 bet. The barman would...
Jazzmin O’Shea, a blonde accountant calls her boyfriend and says, Please come over here and help me I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t...
A plumber was called to a woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the...
A elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven healthy grandchildren, and last...
Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. One leaned over the other...
A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, “that new upper plate I put...
A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and...
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he...
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns. Cop: “Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway — why are you going so slow?” Sister: “Sir, I...
