A blonde was driving down the Freeway when her Mobile phone rang. It was her husband warning her: “Darling”, he said, “I just heard on the...
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy...
An elderly couple is beginning to notice that neither of them seem to be able to remember things as well as they used to. So, they...
A man is skydiving, enjoying his free-fall, when he realizes that he has reached the altitude where he must open his parachute. So he pulls on...
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in...
A wife arrived home from a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed undressed, with a lovely young girl. Just as she...
An old lady was stopped to pull into a parking space, when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in...
A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat...
An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “George, everything looks great. How are you...
Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, “Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing...
A man goes into a cafe and sits down. A waitress comes to take his order, and he asks her, “What’s the special of the day?”...
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed...
A teacher was asking her class: “What is the difference between ‘unlawful’ and ‘illegal’?” Only one hand shot up. “Ok, answer, Joan,” said the teacher. “‘unlawful’...
The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a...
There is a blonde, she wants to buy a microwave. So she goes in and asks the sales clerk, “How much for that microwave?” The salesclerk...
Johnny was at school and the teacher said, “Someone use fascinate in a sentence.” Sally answered, “The zoo was fascinating.” The teacher said, “Sorry, Sally, I...
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front...
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled...
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks...