A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she...
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus,...
Three contractors were submitting estimates to replace a large amount of fencing in a large country house. The estate manager got them all together so that...
Two old retired men are sitting on the bench watching the time go by. There is an old hound dog lying on the ground in front...
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The...
This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back...
An elderly couple named Bill and Helen went to the county fair each year. One year, a man at the fair was giving helicopter rides for...
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and...
A judge was interviewing a lady regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a...
Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second. “I froze to death,” says the...
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now, now young lad, I think...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?” “Do...
A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he’d left the light on in the garden shed she could see it from...
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye,...
Two guys were playing golf. On the tee, Jack hit his shot way left of the fairway in some buttercups. Bob proceeded to hit and his...
This guy says to his buddy, “You’ll never believe what happened last night.” His buddy says, “Well then, tell me what happened.” The guy says, “Last...
A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he...
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up...
A bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a pure and I don’t know anything about make love. Can you explain it to me first?”...
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of...